Hooters

What hot wing contest could exist without a visit to Hooters?  Today we went to visit the delightfully tacky, yet unrefined ladies of Hooters at 3241 Horizon Drive in Springfield, IL.  You’ll have to go through www.hooters.com to find the store information.  We don’t normally visit chain restaurants as part of our hunt for the best food in Springfield, but we couldn’t pass up an excuse to visit the tank top and orange short wearing ladies of the owl. 

We were immediately disappointed when we walked in and found the service personnel wearing “sexy” Christmas costumes to celebrate the holiday season.  Most of their costumes were tight but fell short of sexy.  There was the lamp leg light from “A Christmas Story”, an elf, and a server wearing a “Naughty or Nice” shirt.  It was a far cry from the threads and fabrics this restaurant chain places its reputation on.  Regardless, we weren’t here for breasts, but rather wings and mini drumsticks.  

We were seated at a high table with bar stools and our drink order was quickly taken after Buddy the Elf passed through the seven levels of the Candy Cane forest, through the sea of swirly twirly gum drops, and finally walked through the Lincoln Tunnel to our table.  There are 4 ways to order the Hooters wings:  Original Hooters Style, Naked (yes, please) Wings, Daytona Beach Style Wings, or Boneless Wings.  Our test group for wings puts us in the Original Style so we ordered a plate of 20 wings with the Hot sauce.  There was also a side of curly fries and a bowl of chili ordered.  This was the most difficult and restrictive menu to order wings from.  We couldn’t split the wing order to try different flavors and the order sizes didn’t lead us to want to try a different flavor.

It didn’t matter because we weren’t disappointed.  The plate of wings was delivered and piled high.  It didn’t take long to notice these wings were huge and rivaled those of Starship Billiards.  They were served piping hot too.  When we were finally able to bite into them, they were juicy, meaty, and succulent.  More than a mouthful of these definitely was not a waste.  Each wing left you with hot sauce and juice dripping from your chin and smeared across your cheek.  You had to lick your fingers dry before wiping the juice and sauce off your face.  The ranch dipping sauce was creamy and tasty.  The sauce was warm but not hot by our standards.  Because we shared the wings with the group, we had no idea how many we ate but it didn’t matter because we were all full by the time the last three wings were raised in a toast to the Hoots. 

This was a less than traditional visit to Hooters with the bodily décor altered for the holiday season.  The wings were large and in charge dripping with juices and sauce.  The bill was high because Hooters charges you for everything.  The chili cost extra for onions and cheese.  You even get charged for the dipping sauces.  The waitress was attentive but not to the standards you see on the billboards, calendars or commercials.  The restaurant was sunny and open but lacked many customers while we were eating.  This experience, because of the food, ranks high for us and may be a repeat visit as we break down the finalists.  Who knew we’d actually want to come back to Hooters for the food?

None of these ladies were our elf waitress but they have Springfield, IL on their shirts.

Quaker Steak and Lube

Today we set out on the Wing Tour and visited Quaker Steak and Lube located at 1121 West Lincolnshire Blvd, Springfield, IL and at http://www.quakersteakandlube.com/Springfield_IL/.  At first glance you think the name is part of a famous brand of oil and the restaurant emphasized that throughout, though we'll go there in a bit.  We entered the premises and right away had to sidestep the TV built into the floor.  Are people seriously taking naps or standing around long enough to watch a TV in the floor?

Quaker Steak and Lube is not to be confused with Quaker State Lube Station although the name and colors are similar and the restaurant is automobile themed.  They have vehicle pictures and posters on the walls.  Racing gas tanks hanging from the rafters with the 21 sauce names on them, a dirt bike and rider breaking through a glass window high on the wall.  And don't look up because you'll find a stock car hanging upside down right over your head!  Their centerpiece vehicle is a 1929 JD Harley Davidson spinning around while it hangs from the ceiling.

After we got done taking in all the sights, we took our plastic seats at our round table.  They spared no expense on the seating arrangements.  We were quickly greeted by an energetic and happy waitress named Jeni.  She took our drink orders and informed us of the all-you-can-eat buffet.  Our attention was quickly grabbed when she informed us the buffet consisted of all you can eat wings.  The wings are naked with all the sauces available.  We were quickly in heaven as we could sample as many of the wing flavors for one low price.  The buffet also has a theme, which changes daily.  Today it was the Homestyle theme.  While we discussed the various sauces and opportunities they presented for our taste buds, Jeni delivered our drinks with long flexible straws twisted in childish curly Q designs.  So, I tongue whipped my straw to my mouth and took a big sip.

Enough of the Homestyle and straws though, we came to taste wings.  We left our table and quickly gathered around the naked wings, filling our plates high.  As is our test group, we all took a tub of the Hot sauce to compare against the other restaurants' hot sauces.  The Hot sauce had a similar flavor to the Starship restaurant sauce.  It had a hint of Tabasco along with vinegar.  It was spicy with a Scoville Heat Rating of 3,000 causing one of our participants to empty his sinuses and open the pores on his forehead.  The rest were mostly unaffected.

Other flavors we tasted were Parmesan Pepper, Premium Garlic, Haute Parm, Buckeye BBQ, and Arizona Ranch.  On the buffet, the only wet wings they had available were the Arizona Ranch and they were fantastic!  It was the gentle flavor of ranch with a sweet, spicy tang.  The other favorite of the group was the Buckeye BBQ.  This is considered the fourth hottest sauce they offer and it definitely had some zip, but the sweet BBQ flavor was what made it to die for.

As you can imagine, we made many trips to the buffet to get more wings and try new sauces.  We noticed the quality of the wings improved as we made our trips.  The first round, the skins were very crispy and not as juicy.  We figure it was because we got there just before the lunch crowd hit so the wings had probably been sitting under the heat lamps for a while.  The second round produced some large wings full of juices and softer skins.  The last round consisted of the best wings yet -- they were piping hot and spilling with juices.

With our appetites and taste palates finally sated, we asked for our bill.  The buffet was $7.99 for the all-you- can-eat buffet, which even includes the drink.  This is the best price so far, especially when you had salad, sandwiches, pasta, homestyle food, wings, and dessert available on the buffet.  We didn’t get charged for each flavor of wing we wanted like some restaurant in the distant past.  The waitress was attentive and engaging.  The environment was unique and dangerous with full size vehicles hanging over our heads as we ate.  If that wasn’t enough, our receipts were delivered with a “wing wag” for desaucification and a Twizzler as a parting gift.  Our experience was memorable and we would visit again if the wind blew us in their direction.

Starship Billiards Parlor

Vulcan Hot

Today we embarked upon an intergalactic journey to Starship Billiards Parlor crossing time and space to 2301 Adlai Stevenson Drive, Suite C in Springfield, IL.  They must be from a land far, far away because they don’t have a webpage.  Upon entering deep space, you must travel through the asteroid field of pool tables and make your way to the black hole of a bar area aptly named, The Enterprise.  The bar has a few low tables with 2 chairs positioned at each.  If you haven’t picked up on it yet, the theme of this joint is Star Trek.

We were rewarded today as we quickly learned the special of the day was $ 0.50 wings.  We immediately learned we could order as many flavors of wings we wanted as long as they were in half dozen increments and the wings were naked and therefore, not breaded.  None of us are Trekkies who speak Klingon so we had to ask the wait staff to translate the wing menu into normal terms.  He did a poor job of doing so as his explanation of one particular flavor was exactly as a different one was named.  Regardless, we chose the Vulcan Hot which was our base test flavor, Bones Honey Hot, and Neelix Lemon Pepper.  We ordered each by the dozen and a side of fries for two and tater tots for the other.

  

Neelix Lemon Pepper

We sat the next 20 minutes waiting for food and our drinks to be refilled.  There was only one wait person working and he was located behind the bar.  There was no crowd to speak of so it’s astonishing we weren’t given more attention.  I’m uncertain if he was also the cook.

 

Our wings finally arrived with a fistful of napkins and wet wipes.  We immediately realized the massive size of these wings.  They didn’t come from a chicken but more like a pterodactyl.  They were massive and meaty.  The waiter did his best to identify the wing flavor as he set them down in front of us.  Our sides quickly followed and we started to dig in.  We started with the hot wings as this is the test flavor to be compared from restaurant to restaurant.  The flavor was good and had a little heat to it.  There was certainly more heat to this wing than the Westwood’s wing.  When you picked up the Honey Hot wing, you immediately smelled the Tabasco sauce and the flavor didn’t surprise your palate.  We didn’t sense the slightest hint of honey in this flavor.  It was spicier than the Vulcan Hot and our nasal passages opening up was a clear indication.  The Lemon Pepper was a nice dry rub compliment to the wet sauces of the hot flavors.  It was a very salty lemon pepper.

Bones Honey Hot

 

The cost was $9.00 for a dozen wings and side of fries so it was a little pricey.  The restaurant was fun with the pool tables and Star Trek theme.  The lack of wait staff and time it took to have our food served was very disappointing.  The wings were massive and cooked perfectly.  Two of the three sauces were flavorful and relatively unique.  The hot sauce was good and flavorful but not too spicy.

 

The environments were equally interesting and the wait staff were equally disappointing though for different reasons.  The mass and girth of these wings along with the ability to order multiple wing flavors without penalty give Starship Billiards Parlor the lead over Westwood’s.  To infinity and beyond.

Westwood's Lodge and Pub

The Wing Tour launched from our local airport and our first stop was at Westwood’s Lodge and Pub.  You’ll probably remember Westwood’s from the Tenderloin Tour of 2012.  This restaurant takes a rather unique backwoods look at culinary decadence.  The restaurant is still located at 2406 West Jefferson Street, Springfield, IL and http://www.westwoodslodge.com/.   We chose this as our first stop because a member of the Culinary Delights team believes these to be the best wings in town and wanted to set the Wing standard.

L to R: Spicy Garlic and Buffalo

We entered the establishment and as soon as we were seated, we were met by none other than our waitress from last time, Toots.  She took our drink order and delivered our beverages.  We were deep in conversation as we were still setting the rules for the Wing Tour so we had to send her away on a couple of different occasions.  She was a blood hound on a scent though so she visited often and finally lulled us into our order. 

The rules for taste are simple, you must order and/or try the Buffalo flavored wings at each of the restaurants.  This will be the primary flavor to compare all others against.  If the restaurant offers some specialty flavors, you’re welcome to order and comment on those as well.  It was disappointing to only find a single Buffalo flavor on this menu.  There were no other levels of hotness to escalate the burning of our mouths and causing our salivary glands to work overtime.  So, we all ordered a half dozen of the Buffalo wings.  We each ordered a half dozen of the specialty wings in the way of a spicy garlic dry rub, bacon ranch, and garlic parmesan.  

Bacon Ranch

It wasn’t long before our order was delivered by a less than friendly staff member who had probably been locked up in the kitchen all day.  Our order was delivered in half dozen increments.  They obviously didn’t want the flavors to cross-contaminate each other.  The CD member who holds Westwoods in high esteem was quick to point out the presentation of the wings has changed since his last visit.  In the past, they used to bring out the wings on a circular contraption that held a dozen wings in their own little carry area and after sucking the meat off the bone, you dropped the bones into a dish set in the middle of the circular contraption.  This wasn’t a good sign to start off the review of the wings he once put on a pedestal.

We spared no time as we dug into the Buffalo wings.  We started with these so our pallets weren’t tainted by the other flavored wings we ordered.  We all quickly discovered the Buffalo sauce was flavorful, but had no spiciness that registered.  My wings had a very tough skin that hurt my teeth to bite into.  The others seemed fine with theirs.  My flavored wings were ok, so I may’ve just had an overcooked batch.  The meat inside was well cooked and quite juicy.  The ranch sauce we had for dipping was thick and creamy.  It was a perfect blend that clung to the wing after it was dunked. 

The flavored wings were well received around the table.  The spicy garlic (heat warning on the menu) was not spicy and fortunately, not overly garlic.  The flavor was a good one other than the missing temperature.  The garlic parmesan was dominated by the parmesan.  It was a nice blend of parmesan with a hint of garlic.  The bacon ranch was the most raved about flavor that hit our table.  There was no need to dip these bad boys as they were covered with ranch sauce and drizzled in bacon pieces. 

Garlic Parmesan

Although there was talk we wouldn’t be able to finish the dozen wings we ordered, there was nothing but empty bones left at the end of the session.  It’s possible one of the members was so callous as to suck the marrow out of the bones.  He left no flavor behind!

When we received our tickets, it was like we stepped on a land mine similar to a Bouncing Betty that capped us at the knees.  It was at that time we learned we were being charged for two 6-wing orders, instead of the 12 wing price.  It appears the proprietor of this establishment charges by the flavor and not the order.  Our meal went from around $9 for the dozen to over $14.  We questioned Toots about this who proceeded to educate us, as it was all disclosed in the menu.  She even went so far as to obtain a menu and point it out in black and white.  Although we didn’t doubt her, we felt she could’ve warned us when we ordered or she could’ve, at the very least, put our Buffalo flavor wings together to reduce our cost.

The environment of this restaurant is unique, fun and inviting.  Our waitress was great until she tossed us the bill taped to the “This side toward the enemy” side of a Claymore mine and she failed to service us with knowledge and warnings.  The price was beyond what it should’ve been as previously discussed.  A Wing consumer should be able to split their full dozen order into at least 2 flavors, if not more.  The Buffalo flavor was tasty, but disappointing that we couldn’t adjust the heat level.  The Wings were of average size, possibly an overcooked skin, but a nice and juicy center.  I can only say I hope this isn’t the Wings to beat or this will be a long Tour.

Rain Delay on "Best of" Tour

No “Best of” Tour expected for 2012.  During several of our tour stops on the, now famous, Tenderloin Tour of 2012, we discussed touring the category winners of the “Best of Springfield” edition of the Illinois Times.  You can find the 2011 edition at http://npaper-wehaa.com/illinoistimes/#2011/10/27/?page=1&dpg=1.  Voting for the 2012 version is currently over and winners are due to be announced on October 25, 2012.

The reason we aren’t doing a tour of the “Best of” winners at this time is because we couldn’t decide on a format for visiting and reviewing the category winners.  When you visit the website, you’ll see the categories are represented by one winner and sometimes a runner up.  This doesn’t leave us much to visit.  It would be too much of an undertaking for us to go through each and every one of these categories to sample the winner's fares and find some other restaurants to compare them against.  This contest is more of a popularity contest rather than patrons actually visiting restaurants in the specific categories and voting for the best.  It’s not a true representation of what the Culinary Delights Committee stands for so we’re foregoing this tour for the time being.  I can hear the disappointment as you read this post.  Don't let that get you down.

As an alternative, we are going to hit the streets of Springfield this fall in search of the best Buffalo Wings in town.  Hence, the Wing Tour of 2012 is brought to bear.  We currently have our ears to the ground in hopes of identifying restaurants with renowned wings.  We hope to find some back alley, underground joints off the beaten path to frequent and possibly find a hidden gem so we may bring it to light and share it with the residents of Springfield and the surrounding area.  We will also be visiting some chain restaurants for the visual consumption as much as the digestive consumption.  If you know of such a place, don’t hesitate to comment and let us know.  

Our rules for critiquing are similar to that of the Tenderloin Tour.  We will take the cost, atmosphere, flavor, size, and overall experience into account before posting our review to the blog.  We hope you enjoy eating up our reviews as much as we enjoy eating the wingies.  

Tenderloin Tour 2012 Results

As we bring a close to the Tenderloin Tour of 2012, we are left with but one task.  The Results!  Below, you’ll find our finalized, scrutinized, and debated results.  We hope you’ve enjoyed reading our experiences as much as we enjoyed experiencing them.  Please stay tuned to the Culinary Delights Blog as we will be bringing more culinary reviews to you very shortly.  Before we can begin our next tour, we all need to get an arterial scope and check up by our cardiologist to ensure we’re healthy enough to go on.  As with many of these tenderloins, ENJOY!

      1.      Billy’s

      2.      Westwoods

      3.      Johnny’s

      4.      Track Shack

      5.      Humphrey’s

      6.      D’Arcy’s

      7.      Boar’s Nest

      8.      Gabatoni’s

      9.      Charlie Parker’s

      10.   Yesterday’s

Biggest Loin:  Boar’s Nest

      

Best Tasting Loin:  Billy’s

Best Looking Platter:  Westwoods

Best Server:  Toots of Westwoods but we wish to give Honorable Mention to Mando of Yesterday’s for the Cherry Soda and Hydration Girl of Charlie Parker’s for her concern of our safety on a hot day.

Best Environment:  Westwoods

Best Cherry Soda:  Yesterday’s

Least Expensive:  Humphrey’s at $6.49

Quickest Exit after Consumption:  Gabatoni’s

Fastest Lunch:  Track Shack

Best Appetizer:  Gabatoni’s, we’d like to thank our waitress for that screw up.

Cherry Bomb

The Culinary Delights Tenderloin Committee (CDTC) made its final stop recently at the world famous Billy’s (see review below).  This not only marks the beginning and the end of the Tenderloin Tour, but also the end for one of our founding members – Mark Westenberger (commonly referred to throughout the blog as the one who loves Cherry Coke).

Cherry, Mr. Answer, Google Man, Sweet Cheeks, and Cherry Bomb are all names he’s affectionately referred to.  His love of the cherry bubbly, spiky red hair, and ability to get answers in an expeditious and determined manner are the reasons for such fitting namesakes.   We’re really not sure where the Sweet Cheeks name comes from but he’s most proud of that one.  Besides his love of cherry flavored sodas, he also has a love of his loin, as well as some of the tenderloins we’ve tasted along the way.  Amongst those lucky enough for him to call a friend, he has a unique perspective on movie reviews which he’ll be more than happy to share with anyone who asks. 

Anyway, Cherry Bomb is heading off to Washington University’s School of Law in St. Louis in August.  He will be uniquely positioned to take the ‘Tour’ to unequaled heights in this international city. 

Now before you go off and lament the effects of another lawyer in this world, realize that Sweet Cheeks will be one of the good guys.  He is studious and detail oriented, yet has a pleasant disposition that will make ice melt in any Cherry Coke (Pepsi or RC Cola).  We’re quite sure that if he graduates from law school (as long as he doesn’t eat too many tenderloins that is), he’ll be able to garner upwards of $20 per hour due to his stellar personality.   He could truly bring a “Coke and a Smile” to the legal profession wherever he goes and even put the cherry on top!

The CDTC will truly miss Mark’s clever palate and witty reviews as we launch into the next phase of our program – The ‘Best of…’ in Springfield, Illinois!  We’re looking forward to his guest appearance on the blog and hopefully we’ll get an invitation to join his new ‘Loin Crew’ in St. Louis!

Congratulations Mark!  May you continue to drink Cherry Coke with fervor and continue to tout the ways of the Loin – from the remaining members of the CDTC.

Billy's Bar and Grill

Out of all the gin joints in all the world, we had to walk into . . . BILLY’S.  Finally!!  OMG!!  BILLY’S!!  Billy’s, Billy’s, Billy’s, Billy’s . . . BILLY’S!!  Writing this piece I feel like one of Pavlov’s dogs waiting for the dinner bell.  I first stepped across the portal of this hallowed institution in the mid-‘70s and introduced the rest of the Tour to it a couple of years ago.  This led to the now famous Culinary Delights Tenderloin Tour of 2012 attempting to go where no man has gone before in search of the ultimate Pork Tenderloin sandwich.  Full circle.  What can you say?

Walking into the establishment today, located on the curve behind the Bunn Park Golf Course, was like entering a darkened sanctuary.  No, really, the lights were low and the curtains drawn due to problems with the air conditioning.  The overhead fans were doing a yeoman’s duty keeping the place habitable and it was more than tolerable (the A/C came on before we left).

First to arrive, I looked around for a table that could accommodate the five of us and headed that direction.  Before I could get there a somewhat raspy voice behind the bar said, “How many of you will there be?” followed quickly by “What will you have to drink, honey?”  Ah, home at last with Mom waiting on me hand and foot.

I said “Diet Pepsi?”  The response was quick and apologetic, “Sorry, I haven’t had a chance to shop today.  How about a Diet RC?”  RC, now there is a shot from the past.  “That would be great,” I respond.   “Be right up, honey.”  Ah, Mom.

The napkin-wrapped utensils and the RC arrive in two shakes quickly followed by the rest of the party.  After greetings were exchanged followed by the usual banter, the five members took a moment to once again soak in the atmosphere of Billy’s.  The place has changed little since the mid-‘70s when I first sampled their wares.  The dark paneling, the long bar with the games of chance, the indoor shuffleboard along the wall.  This is the classic neighborhood bar, home of the “best pork tenderloins” according to one of those lit from behind signs next to the bar.

“Mom” comes with the rest of the drink orders and now it is time to get down to business.  “Tenderloin with onion and pickle and fries,” I say.  Everyone else simply says what condiments they want.  No need for more.  She knows this crowd and Tenderloins are the order of the day.

While we are waiting, she delivers an order of the special of the day, fried chicken, to an adjoining table.  We eye it like Pavlov’s dogs once again.  It looks great, but it’s not tenderloins.  We wait.  

Finally, our traditionalist begins to softly whine as he senses our order emerge from the kitchen.  If tails were in place today they would be wagging around the table.  At last, Billy’s tenderloins.

There is a mad rush to grab the mustard, ketchup and mayonnaise on the table as everyone prepares their food just the way they like it.  One of the “Kids” in the group whines about the size of his sandwich.  “I always get the smallest tenderloin,” he says with a pout.  Wimp. 

 

I hope the guys at the next table weren’t startled by the groans and moans as we settled into the repast.  This was once again proof that Billy’s served the best tenderloins in the area.  The Wimp had to throw his two cents in that he thought it tasted like they fried the tenderloins in the same grease as the fried chicken and it affected the taste.  What a Wimp!  (I post all the reviews to the blog but we share the burden of writing the reviews.  I’m the “kid” affectionately referred to here as the “wimp.”  Although I could, I didn’t want to mar the authenticity of the author’s summation of this visit by changing the review because all the members of the TT12 agreed to it.  However, I want to remind the writer of this review of the purpose of our tour.  It is that we are to comment and pass judgment on our experiences of the tasty delights.  Two of the five areas we’re judging are size and taste.  Both of my comments on lack of size and familiar taste of chicken grease were warranted comments especially since the daily special was, in fact, fried chicken.  It would be good if the penman knew what is to be criticized before he criticizes those criticizing.)  As usual the serving was ample to more than ample.  The breading was just right and the sandwich was served with your choice of lettuce, tomato, pickle, onion, mustard, ketchup or mayonnaise (real mayonnaise).  It was even noticed that the bottled condiments were Gluten-free.  What more could you want?  The fries were crinkle-cut fries, but who noticed.  They were something to fill the gaps between bites of the tenderloin.  At $9.25 for the sandwich, fries and drink, it was not the cheapest we have had, but when you factor in the pleasure quotient this meal is cheap at any price.

As we close the door on the Tour for this summer, what better way could we send our young compatriot off to law school than with one last taste of the best Pork Tenderloin Sandwich in Springfield . . . Billy’s.

Want a knuckle sandwich?

Johnny(')s Restaurant

Those who enjoy their tenderloin with a side of strikes and spares would be hard-pressed to top the fare at Johnny’s Restaurant or is it Johnnys Restaurant.  Although the menu’s and website have it spelled Johnny’s, the sign on the building says Johnnys (notice the picture).  The perplexing use or non use of the apostrophe had us all scratching our heads.  Anyway, located inside King Pin bowling alley at 3115 E. Sangamon Avenue or online at http://www.kingpinusa.com, Johnny’s truly has a one-of-a-kind atmosphere, with great music and the thundering sounds of bowling balls complementing your dining experience. While our schedule did not permit the Culinary Delights Tenderloin Committee to take a spin on the lanes today, we are happy to report we were all quite pleased with our tenderloin experience.

Although the honorable sport of bowling can trace its roots back 2000 years to Ancient Egypt and the Roman Empire, Springfield residents have only had the pleasure of gracing King Pin’s lanes since March of 1998. Those who enjoy complimenting their bowling with delicious home-cooked food were pleased to see the later addition of Johnny’s Restaurant. However, the Culinary Delights Tenderloin Committee was not aware of Johnny’s reputation for “mean” tenderloins until receiving a tip from a fellow tenderloin connoisseur at an Amateur Bowling Invitational Tournament in Des Moines, Iowa two weeks ago. On the heels of our decisive team victory in the bowling tournament, we walked into Johnny’s today with empty stomachs and high expectations.

We were not let down. Johnny’s tenderloin provides a strong combination of value, taste, and proportion. The service was friendly and prompt; the atmosphere was excellent, with a unique, eclectic character; and most importantly, if we wanted to, we could finish lunch, walk 20 feet, and have a quick bowl. What’s not to like?

 

To get into the details: $6.75 gets you the tenderloin and fries. (Click here for the full menu.) The sandwich comes with the “fixins” of your choice of lettuce, tomato (which was oddly $.25 extra), pickle, and onion. Mustard, mayonnaise, salt and pepper are also all available. The tenderloin was tender and juicy, with good flavor. It was noted though that the tenderloin had an unmistakable “chicken” taste.  Although it could be said “everything tastes like chicken,” we felt this one hints at chicken because the loin and breasts are probably fried in shared grease.  The fries were crispy and tasty. The bun was toasted, which is always a plus. On the negative side, we did run into a common problem: poor bun-to-loin ratio.

On the whole, the members of the CDTC felt Johnny’s was fantastic and ranked in the Top 3 on the Tour. If you’re looking to grab a loin and a quick bowl, there’s simply no better place.    

Awesome bowling ball stacking skills.

D'Arcy's Pint

The next stop for the Culinary Delights Tenderloin Committee (CDTC) is a well-known Irish pub called D’Arcy’s Pint. Located on the near southwest side of Springfield (661 S. Stanford St.) and online at http://www.darcyspintonline.com/, it is billed as a “cozy, neighborhood-style pub,” which features “traditional Irish fare and American classics.” We were eager to see how D’Arcy’s tenderloin stacked up, because if we were analyzing the traditional horseshoe sandwich fare, they would be at the top of the list.

One of the CDTC members of the group could not partake due to an early lunch.  (What’s up with that? Another missed email or what?) Nevertheless, the remaining four members were joined by two lovely and adventurous females from our respective offices. The word adventurous is used liberally in this sense, because our companions didn’t adhere to peer pressure and order the loin. Instead, they basked in the pleasure of a ham ponyshoe and vegetable ponyshoe. After much discussion, the CDTC voted to allow them to stay.

After entering this “cozy, neighborhood-style” pub, we were politely told the wait would be approximately 20 minutes. Lo and behold, after the passing of only 10 of those long minutes we were seated by a striking young lady. One member of the CDTC was so smitten, the only thing he could say was “wowwy.”

Greetings and salutations were thrust upon us after we were seated by a pleasant waitress and her young Protégé. Our waitress took our drink orders and Protégé took the food order. D’Arcy’s is well-appointed with all the standard photos and posters from Ireland, along with a substantial bar area. It’s very clean and can accommodate many patrons.

Our colleague known for his love of cherry-flavored drinks ordered the pre-mixed cherry Pepsi, but we failed to provide the Effervescence Test on the product. After further review, the cherry Pepsi was not held in as high esteem as the handmade cherry Coke from Yesterday’s. Strike one.

The tenderloin itself was priced on the “proud” side at $7.95, which only includes potato chips. French fries were an extra $1.99. Comparatively speaking, these prices were a bit high. Strike two.

Soon after our order, Protégé brought in the loins. At first it appeared a well-balanced plate, but upon further review we noticed the loin was thin and only a handful of French fries were added. All the usual condiments were supplied – the onion and sandwich pickles were well stocked, while the beloved pickle spear made a generous contribution. 

 

Protégé was asked for “mayonnaise” and brought a Miracle Whip derivative, which was clearly salad dressing. After much debate amongst the CDTC about the authenticity of the salad dressing/mayonnaise the wait staff was asked and provided proof of this faux pas. It was in fact salad dressing…ugh! The CDTC debated the problem of an authentic Irish pub, sewn in the Catholic tradition of their country, serving salad dressing when it’s well known to all that Catholics don’t eat anything but real mayonnaise. When asked, our waitress expressed a fondness for Miracle Whip and claimed to not notice any difference between Hellmann’s and generic mayonnaise. She was clearly in need of a mayonnaise appreciation class. Swing – foul tip.

The bun was nicely toasted and well-proportioned for the size of the loin. The loin was thin, lean and juicy. The breading was crisp and golden brown, but lacked seasoning. Service was superb and Protégé will soon make a very fine waitress. However, after the meal, upon making further inquiry into the salad dressing/mayonnaise incident, it was revealed by wait staff that real mayonnaise packets were readily available. Strike three! 

All-in-all, D’Arcy’s Pint provides excellent service in a cool and comfortable atmosphere. However, the loin experience was somewhere between average and acceptable and pricey. Stick with the Horseshoe Sandwich!

Humphrey's Market

Although we normally make our Tenderloin Tour stops at the end of an exhausting week, we adjusted this week and went early.  Our stop today took us to Humphrey’s Market located at 1821 South 15^th Street in Springfield, IL.  You’re more than welcome to visit them online at http://www.humphreysmarket.com/store/ but you’re not going to find much more than their weekly circular.  Humphrey’s has been in business for nearly 80 years as your neighborhood grocery store where you can get the best produce and finest meats in the area.  There was also a nice little article published in a local news reader on this quaint little grocery store that you can find at http://www.illinoistimes.com/Springfield/article-8862-inside-humphreyrss-market.html.  Because of their incredible selection of meats, the Tenderloin tasters were incredibly excited about this station on the tour. 

The dining area at Humphrey’s is a small space off the deli counter that has 6 tiny tables, 3 with  4 chairs each and 3 with 2 chairs each.  There isn’t enough room on the table to have all 4 diners with their lunch tray on it.  There’s no waitress so you place your order at the deli counter and wait for them to fix your plate before seating yourself.  The drinks are self serve so you never have to wait for a refill.

The sandwich comes on its own or you can do it as a meal which includes 2 side items and a drink.  This meal only cost $6.49 and with no waiter or waitress to tip, it’s the best deal on the tour.  If you wait for the lunch special on Saturday, you can get this fine saucer of pork for only $5.99.  We placed our orders and 3 of the 4 of us opted for fries and baked beans as our sides.  The fourth stuck with fries only, damn traditionalists.  The three stalwarts anticipated an interesting afternoon due to the tasty helping of real barbeque beans.

The baked beans were incredibly tasty with whole pieces of bacon mixed in.  My fries were soggy but the rest were awarded freshly fried tater sticks when they had their orders filled.  There wasn’t much talk of the fries which leads a reasonable man to think they were just okay and nothing special.

The tenderloins came to order with lettuce, tomato, onions, pickle, mayo and mustard as add-ons.  The bun was a regular bun with seeds and there was no toasting or butter added for flavor or color.  Unfortunately, the tenderloin wasn’t freshly cooked either so it was a little cool.  This is a real downside to the Humphrey’s deli system where most of their food is cooked ahead and kept in an inefficient warming system.  However, the pork patty was large and heavy.  It is the thickest cut of meat we’ve had on the Tour and it was juicy.  The breading had a hint of spice that snuck up on us like a ninja in a Jackie Chan movie.

The flavor of this sandwich was wonderful and on the verge of epic greatness.  The sandwich is a top 3 on the tour and has the possibility of giving Billy’s a run for its money but some major changes need to be made first.  There needs to be an adjustment to the presentation and preparation of the bun, the tenderloin needs to be kept warm or freshly cooked, and the sides need to have a freshness about them.  The experience was different than the rest as far as spaciousness for dining and privacy, the ordering process, and being tended to by wait staff instead of waiting on ourselves or each other.  And before we left, one of our diners was able to do his weekly shopping before completely leaving the premises.  We’ll definitely be visiting Humphrey’s Market again and it’s in contention for the final review.

Charlie Parker's Diner

Thanks to a high-profile feature on the Food Network show “Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives,” there’s a good chance you’ve heard about Charlie Parker’s Diner (700 North Street and www.charlieparkersdiner.com), our most recent stop on the Culinary Delights Tenderloin Tour 2012. Since opening in 1991, this charming Quonset hut has won critical acclaim and devoted customers by serving some of Springfield’s best breakfast food. In fact, it was Charlie Parker’s “Breakfast Horseshoe” that brought Food Network’s Guy Fieri to town in 2007. As he quickly learned, Charlie Parker’s huge portions require a certain amount of “food bravado” and an empty stomach. As you know, the Culinary Delights crew is never short of food bravado, and it was with that spirit that we descended upon Charlie Parker’s today, to see how their breaded pork tenderloin stacked up with its local competition.

Upon entering the premises, we immediately took note of Charlie Parker’s policy towards camping, which is “No Camping at Anytime.” While we can’t imagine why anyone would want to build a campsite inside a small Quonset hut restaurant, we must say we were a bit turned off by Charlie Parker’s militant, anti-camping stance. The gentlemen of Culinary Delights prefer to reserve the right to pitch a tent where they see fit. However, after a bit of discussion we resolved to not let our differences in the value of the outdoor lifestyle come between us and a potential tenderloin delicacy.

Unfortunately, we were also disappointed by the tenderloin. Although the loin was an improvement over last week’s fare at Yesterday’s, and was a decent and hearty sandwich, it simply didn’t stack up against the heavyweights such as Billy’s and Westwoods. It had many things in its favor: a generous size; a tasty bun; plenty of “fixins” (pickle, onion, tomato, lettuce with mayonnaise, mustard, salt and pepper available as needed); and a very reasonable “basket” option with the sandwich and two sides for only $7.95. (A sandwich and chips will run you $5.95.) But, as a whole the group found the tenderloin lacking in flavor and very dry. It wasn’t the worst sandwich we’ve had; it just wasn’t the best.

The sides were also fairly underwhelming. The fries were soggy, and the fruit and mac and cheese were adequate but not exemplary. The tater tots were the lone saving grace – very crisp and just as you might remember them from your fondest school cafeteria memories.

Although we were not impressed with Charlie Parker’s tenderloin (or the restroom, which was a bit of an experience), we must encourage our readers who possess food bravado to still visit this restaurant. The breakfast food is delicious, the service is excellent, and ambiance is perfect. We also want to note the restaurant’s liberal beverage policy. As we were leaving, our lovely waitress insisted we take complimentary cold beverages to go, due to the dangerously high temperatures outside – a very nice touch. We won’t be back for the tenderloin, but we’ll definitely be back, and we’ll remember to leave our camping gear at home.